With regards to our time, I have often said that I think there seems to be 3 kinds of people, those who live in the past, those who live in the future and those who live in the present. Of these 3, I have a tendency to be one who thinks about the future, but I know a lot of people quite intimately who do a lot of obsessing about what happened to them in the past.
let go of the past
I understand why people can be inclined to worry about the past. It can be comforting to to re-hash events over and over again and wish we could re-make a decision that may have had a path-altering change in our circumstances. I call this “if only” thinking. It sounds a bit like this, “If only I hadn’t studied underwater basket weaving in college. I only did it because my mother is an underwater basket weaver and she wanted me to take over her business, but what I really want to be is a social worker.”
This kind of thinking is often coupled with the “blame game”. You blame your parents or some other person in your life for their influence over your past decisions. There is a very effective reason why we naturally gravitate toward this reaction. Anger at someone else often feels better than being angry with ourselves. It can be very useful to be angry with someone else and allow it to catapult us to a more proactive solution….